while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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