we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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