We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
