I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize