is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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