At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
