he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
