Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
