is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize