I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize