Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
