Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
