Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
