not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
