i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
did i just pee glitter
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
