both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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