I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize