Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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