I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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