doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
