is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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