Your face is a jimmy john
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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