i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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