Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
