Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
