Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
