i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
