we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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