uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
