the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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