Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
