on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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