Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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