i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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