the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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