Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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