You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
