I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
