i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Please, let me fuck your mom
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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