I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
