Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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