I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Who died my cat blue again?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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