There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
