Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
