Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
