At least make sure they are 18
Why
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
