its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
