I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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