If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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