He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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