shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
