high people should be assigned attendants
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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