We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i think my tv is drunk
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
