I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i would punch a child for taco bell
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
