Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
