im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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