every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
