Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and she was petting her beer can
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
