I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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